The Gaslighting Machine

How the System Gaslights You Into Doubting Who You Are

Alright so I realized last week I released a rant that kinda told you to give your middle finger to the world and just do you. And I stand by that wholeheartedly. However, let's stop pretending that’s easily done. And what kind of asshole am I to think I can just tell you to be yourself and you can just go out and do it. How the hell are you supposed to be able to do that when there’s a possibility you’ve never been allowed to be yourself. You don’t know what you need because no one ever gave you the chance to figure it out. Instead, you got handed a script titled “How to Be Palatable in Society” and told to memorize it or face the consequences.

And spoiler: the script is garbage. It’s full of contradictory instructions like:

• Be confident, but not too confident.

• Be unique, but not too weird.

• Stand out, but only in ways that make them comfortable.

And somewhere in all that noise, the real you got shoved into a corner and told to shut up.

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The Gaslighting Machine: How They Keep You Lost

1. Hide Who You Are: From the moment you’re old enough to form a personality, the system starts editing it. You’re “too much” or “not enough.” You’re a “problem” that needs fixing. So, you learn to mask, to shrink, to fit in. And after years of performing, you forget where the mask ends and you begin.

2. Blame You for Not Fitting In: The thing is, when you can’t conform, they make you feel like the broken one. Like it’s your fault you can’t sit still in school or delegate tasks at work when your brain works in a way they’ll never understand. It’s not their outdated framework—it’s you. Or so they’d have you believe.

3. Keep You Busy Surviving: When you’re spending all your energy masking, adapting, and second-guessing yourself, there’s no room left for self-discovery. They don’t want you asking, “Who am I?” because that might lead to you saying, “Wait, why the hell am I following their rules?”

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Welcome to the Identity Crisis: Population, All of Us

If you’re sitting there wondering, “Who the fuck even am I?” congratulations, you’ve arrived at the inevitable result of living in a system that rewards conformity and punishes individuality. It’s not a fun place to be, but you’re not alone.

Here’s What That Looks Like:

• Imposter Syndrome: Every success feels like a fluke because you achieved it while pretending to be someone you’re not. You don’t trust your wins because deep down, you don’t trust you.

• Fear of Authenticity: Showing your true self feels risky as hell. What if people don’t like it? What if they reject you? It’s easier to keep the mask on, even if it’s suffocating.

• Analysis Paralysis: When your whole life has been about meeting other people’s expectations, you forget how to make decisions for yourself. What do you want? Who knows? You’ve been so busy trying to make them happy, you forgot to ask.

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How Do You Reclaim Yourself?

Reclaiming your identity is like trying to find the pieces of a puzzle after someone tossed it into a hurricane. It’s messy. It’s frustrating. But it’s also the only way forward.

Step 1: Stop Apologizing

First things first: the system is bullshit, and so are its rules. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you are, why you do things differently, or why you’ve decided to stop caring about their approval.

Step 2: Ask the Hard Questions

• Who am I without their expectations?

• What makes me feel alive, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else?

• What’s mine, and what’s just something I was told to care about?

Step 3: Get Comfortable With the Mess

Here’s the thing: figuring out who you are isn’t a clean process. You’re going to try things, fail spectacularly, and change your mind a dozen times. That’s not weakness—that’s growth. Identity isn’t static, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying or boring.

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The Big Takeaway

You’re not lost because you’re broken. You’re lost because the system worked exactly as designed: to keep you doubting, performing, and conforming. The good news? You don’t have to stay lost. You can rip off the mask, torch their script, and start writing your own.

And yeah, it’s scary. But it’s also liberating as hell. Because once you stop living for them, you start living for you. And that’s when things get real.

Only, they don’t actually want you to find yourself. Because a person who knows who they are is a person who stops being easy to control.

And when you stop playing by their rules, they don’t just step aside. They push back. Part 2 is about what happens next.